So lately I have been hanging out with my friends for a change and not being totally and completely secluded and to myself. I like it! I didn’t realize how much I have missed my friends and how much I have missed being apart of their lives. I feel like I have missed so much. I feel kind of guilty and a little selfish for it.
Last night we all hung out and of course drank. I feel like complete poop today but I ate an egg sandwich and am feeling a little better now. I saw one of my best friends last night and I was so happy to see her! She lives 20 minutes away now so we rarely see eachother because we are both so busy. She’s very close to my heart and yesterday while I was a little intoxicated, I spoke of my eating disorder with her. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my chest because now atleast someone knows. I told her I need help and she’s willing to go with me anywhere to seek it. It makes me so happy that I will finally get my life back and everything I have been missing out on! It makes me sad to think I have let it get this far. I thought I could stop at anytime, but now I know that I depend on it now whether I’m happy or sad. It’s my go-to coping method. I’m ready to let go of my past and embrace my future of unending possibilities. Hey, I’m only nineteen! I hope I can remain strong in my recovery process!
On a lighter note…It’s fourth of july weekend! YAY! As I write this I already feel the anxiety as to how much I am going to eat and what it is I will eat.
How do you stay healthy at parties?
Have you ever gone through the recovery process from an addiction or disorder? What was your experience with that?